Remember when you went to school? Your sneakers could be the cause of much upset if you didn’t have the “right” pair. Thing is, things don’t really change. People are still going to notice and comment on your choice of footwear. On the upside, Beijing is not gangland, so there’s no risk that those shoes your mum picked out could get you shot.

Matching shoes with your partner is about five steps cooler than wearing those T-shirts that have paired slogans. The risk is if you start playing away from home and your beloved notices you’ve changed footwear. Stay monogamous, kids. It’s simpler.

Beijing has been known to be a haven for fake goods. No, really. Get over the shock and instead look for the giveaway on these New Balanc. That’s right, dropping an “e” is neither big nor clever.

OK, these aren’t sneakers but there’s no way we weren’t going to feature them on this page. Sandals with laces in a fetching camel color take some time to comprehend. These feet belonging to a man takes a little longer still.

Skinny jeans tucked into high-tops that are almost as icy-white as the day they were box-fresh but just dirty enough to wonder where they have been. You want to be in this person’s band. Failing that, you want to be their band’s groupie.

Texture and color are to be experimented with. You’re only young once, after all. The trouble is that when you’re young, you tend to overindulge. Imagine being so drunk you can only look at your shoes and then you see these. Blimey.

Commitment to a brand is always to be encouraged, especially if it’s a niche brand. Avia has long been slept on by the masses. Coordinating your kicks with even harder-to-find Avia socks is a nice touch. Bonus: Telling everyone that you love Rome.

Cute can quickly turn to kitsch. As things stand, you are allowed to have purple laces and silver shoes and flowers and colored stripes and gold writing on your shoes. You just can’t have them all on one pair. It makes you look eight years old.

All of the hipsters that you read about in online-only magazines are wearing Feiyue now. In Beijing, though, they don’t cost the same as a pair of Alexander McQueen slacks. They are cheap and practical and perfect for gym class. Take that, zeitgeist.

These appear to have been originally made to help the Smurfs get through their harsh winters. Snowboots in blue and yellow with flower details on the eyelets sound repulsive but in a strange, anime-wrestler kind of way, they really work.

If you’re an adult but aren’t a skater, then you have no reason to wear such clumpy, awkward shoes. Unless you have fallen arches. Sorry about your arches.