What time is it? It’s technology time. That polyester suit you’re wearing wasn’t fashioned from the hide of an animal. Nor those brightly colored Crocs on your feet. If you really want to get the tech look down pat, though, you need to accessorize. Check your Casio calculator-watch. Yeah, that’s what time it is.

If you could ask this man one question, and one question only, would it be:

1) “Why, when you have a pocket on your T-shirt, do you have your name-brand mp3 player in a name-brand bicep holster?”

2) “Why, if it’s so important to listen to music when you’re on the move, are your headphones wrapped around your arm?”

3) Seriously, buddy, what is that pocket for?

“Decisions, decisions. Do I swap the stereo, calculator, camera, alarm clock, address book, board games, calendar and various other distractions in my bags for this snazzy mobile telephone? Hmmm. I wonder if it comes with a bag.”

Did you know that this is the best-selling toy of all time? He did. He also told us that in Russia it’s called the Cubik Rubik. If you’re good enough, you can make your Rubik’s Cube match with any outfit. Now that’s timeless.

Even the youngsters can go for the gearhead look these days. This pair look the business in their sports utility perambulator. No wonder they look so fearless and relaxed – they could probably do a bungee jump in that thing.

Movies can inspire dramatic life choices. Was the choice here to have ball bearings inserted into his face to make him look like Hellboy? No, the choice here was to develop the knowledge to make crystal balls float like David Bowie in Labyrinth. Tra la la.

What says tech-savvy more than three rolls of electrical tape used as bangles? Nothing, that’s what. As a bonus, these bold primary colors hit the mark for festival fashion.

Synthetic textiles, man-made materials, call them what you will but you have to admit that they are eye-catching. For some reason I can’t remove my gaze from this purple-haired young lady. I think it must be the commitment to head-to-toe faux.

Photographer: “Excuse me, could I take your photo? Those are quite the headphones.”

This guy: “What?”

Photographer: “I’m sorry, you might have to take them off to hear what I am saying. I’m trying to ask you a question.

This guy: [SHOUTING] “I can’t hear you, I’ll have to take off my massive headphones.”

Photographer: “Nice cans.”

[Cue startled response]

When everybody’s wearing the same uniform, it’s essential to accessorize to put your own spin on it. Who wears theirs better? The old-school cool of the retro plane is a good look but Mr. Electric Saw blows him out of the water. It just makes his whites whiter.

Thanks to technological progress, cutlers can now fashion intricate blades like this one ... You know what – I’m not even going to bother. She’s carrying a knife. That’s some Jerry Springer shit.