Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone who’s actually Irish. For everyone else, it’s just a normal Wednesday and you should be hard at work and not thinking at all about going out on a school night. Not without a good excuse anyway. What's that you say? Your dog's Irish? That'll do, let's go and get smashed. If you’re out to celebrate the land that gave the world the likes of Oscar Wilde, James Joyce, Roy Keane, Bono, B*Witched and Colin Farrell, here’s what’s going on in Beijing tonight:

Paddy O’Shea’s
Likely to be the busiest spot in town tonight, Paddy’s was rammed last year – both floors were packed, to the extent that about 100 people were clustered around the entrance of the bar. Kamat’s has since occupied Paddy’s upper floor, but for one night only they’re giving the space back over to Mr. O’Shea. So that’s two floors of drinking, singing and general madness. Manager Karl has just informed us that “St. Patrick has just landed in Terminal 3 and is on his way to Paddy O’Shea’s.” So he’ll likely make it in time for a few pints before happy hour ends at 8pm.

In other news, Paddy’s has just added a few new Irish whiskeys to its collection, including Black Bush, Bushmills and Paddy’s – there might not be any left by the morning, so get down early if you want to try them. Also, the bar has just launched its new website, www.paddyosheas.com, featuring listings for sports being screened in the bar and other assorted fun and games. Get a look before the censors shut it down.

Souk Lounge
Manager Robbie tunes up his silky vocal chords to belt out the tunes from 8-10pm, before DJ Tipsy takes over the decks to see things through to closing. Both are Irish, so expect a bit of the traditional.

The Pomegranate
Paddy O’Shea’s sister pub promises to put in a good showing for Shunyi, with music from The Berlin Mummies at 6.30pm, then quiz night featuring a special Paddy’s Day round and a music round played live (!) by Maggie Who.

Molly Malone’s
Malone’s promises “an evening of Great Craic, Live Music, Irish Dancing and Irish Giveaways.” The last at least includes a free pint of Guinness for each customer between 8-10pm and a free “Irish Flag Cocktail” for all between 10pm-midnight. Live music from Sunflower and Irish dancing from 8pm-midnight.

As well as today’s four-course set meal at RMB 168 featuring Colcannon soup, bacon and cabbage, apple pie and ice cream, and an Irish coffee, Molly Malone’s has specials every day until March 21 on food and drinks – 20 percent off on all a la carte menu items and drinks (excludes set menu and all bottles).

All-Star/Bling
All-Star’s “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” deal includes a free Guinness for every All-Star hamburger ordered. After that, head to Bling, where girls in green get free-flow Bailey’s all night. Guys get buy-one-get-one-free beers all night.

Goose ‘N’ Duck
The Goose has just finished a renovation, unveiling an all-new entertainment area for their cheerleaders and other performers. They’re also adding a few words to the bar’s name, rebranding it as the “Goose ‘N’ Duck Sports and Music Arena.” Try saying that after St. Patrick’s Day – the dark, light and ginger house beers are two-for-one all night.

Fubar
Happy hour will be extended until 2am both tonight and tomorrow in honor of the scourge of Ireland’s snakes. Chad Lager is obviously working on American times with his Paddy’s Day plans – Fubar has Irish dancers in tomorrow night from 8pm, as part of the EU Chamber of Commerce’s cocktail party. You don’t need to be a member of the EU Chamber, or indeed the EU, to join – anyone is welcome.

Danger Doyle’s
Doyle’s, having seen the error of its ways and brought prices back down slightly, is supposedly serving pints of Guinness for RMB 31.7. So Paddy’s Day takes place on July 31, does it? Feverish debate over at Beijing Boyce as to the placement of that decimal point.

Happy hours have already started – time to knock off work.