It is a truth universally acknowledged that a food writer in possession of reasonable sensibilities will go bananas when you place a Euro-dorable edible before her. Seated in an alcove where floral chintz and Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland got cozy, I anticipated good, if not great things. Unfortunately, in the case of Royal Smushi House, my disproportional excitement only lasted through the “observing” stage.

No doubt about it, smushis* are a cute concept. Tiny, cute, sushi-sized portions of Danish smørrebrød will surely tickle many a feminine aesthetic fancy. However, they seem to be more fit to display than consume. Three of the five smushis I ordered erred on the side of bland. My curried chicken smushi held the tang of convenience store packet-curry, while the sprouting potato-and-cream-cheese smushi tasted only of the fried onion topping. Edging out ahead was the chunky, unwieldy meatball and cabbage affair (the "tank smushi"); this was acceptable once it actually got into my mouth. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the star was the smoked salmon and egg salad smushi: deliciously moist, delicately flavorsome and a boon to any brunch.

Sweets-wise, a zingy piece of lemon cheesecake was mistreated; the unbaked dairy-based dessert had been left out of the fridge and came decorated with artificial cream. Similarly sad was an overbaked hazelnut meringue – such promise in the chewy, airy middle, but surrounded by endless swirls of brittle, unyielding egg white.

Royal Smushi House has potential. The three distinct sections of the complex – café, restaurant and bakery – each offer something different. The service is friendly, if not yet knowledgeable. I’ll also overlook the fact that the fuwuyuan wear maids’ outfits paired with Yashow Converses. It's probably worth a repeat visit – preferably when there are warm smushis and chilled cheesecake.

*Smushis? Smushae? Smushu? Reader, we’re not sure.

Daily 7am-7pm. 8 Dongzhimenwai Dajie (north end of Sanlitun Bar Street), Chaoyang District. (6416 9664) 朝阳区东直门外大街8号（三里屯酒吧街北口）

Photo: Susan Sheng