Last Orders: Brendan O’Kane, Translator, Paper Republic

“Last Orders” is a regular magazine column in which we ask noteworthy Beijingers to imagine their final meal before leaving the city for good. This month’s host is Brendan O’Kane a translator at Paper Republic .

Millenarian Taoists in yellow do-rags are marching on the capital. Line 1 is deserted. The end is nigh. I always said it’d take something major to dislodge me from Beijing, and now the universe is calling my bluff.

The starters
The ground shakes; blood rains from the sky; there are no cabs. My wife Li and I bike to Xiao Shan Wa (小陕娃) on Meishuguan Dongjie, whose cheap bowls of biangbiang noodles (油泼扯面) have gotten me through rough times before. Li orders a roujiamo (肉夹馍) and I put two in my pockets. They’ll be better than money once the economy craters.

The mains
Our friends join us at Zhang Mama’s (张妈妈) on Fensiting Hutong, where we still have to wait for a table, apocalypse or no apocalypse. A combination of spice, light oil, and crispy paichar (排叉儿) makes the twice-cooked pork (回锅肉) hands-down the best in what’s left of town. The house stir-fried pork with chillis (张妈妈小炒) is great for people who don’t have to worry about tomorrow, lotus root with pickled peppers (泡椒藕片) cools things down, and everyone loves the vegetable skewers in chicken broth (钵钵鸡). It’d be nice to sit and chat afterwards, but huge clouds of steam are rising off to the west – Houhai and Xihai boiling away – and time is clearly not on our side.

The desserts
We head to the rooftop terrace at Alba. The almond tofu (杏仁豆腐) here is nicer than just about anywhere else, and the chocolate pudding is good too. Some skinny guy in a black hoodie is riding a white horse down Gulou Dongdajie. A scenester girl tries to pet the horse and her eyes roll back behind her lensless glasses. “Vanity!” she shrieks. “All is vanity!” Tipplers among us order from Alba’s menu of well-made cocktails, while non-drinkers go for the delicious homemade ginger ale or lemonade. Some people head to Amilal, where there are cats and a good scotch selection. The rest of us settle back and raise our glasses in memory of what was in retrospect really a pretty good universe. Overhead, one by one, the stars are winking out.

Click here to see the Beijinger August issue in full.

Photo: Sui

Comments

New comments are displayed first.

Xiao Shan Wa has been a giant subway crane for months, Zhang Mama was decimated by the wide-eyed Weibo tweeters to the extent that 2 hour waits are not uncommon. The acopalypse has been and gone, Mr O'Kane. Catch up. Amilal's cats are doing well, though. That's the great thing about cats.