The very second that this blog was posted was the most magical moment of what Chinese netizens are calling Magical Singles Day. OK, some of them are calling it Giant Singles Day but that's much less exciting. Anyway, the point is this: Are you single? If you are not, don't worry – you still have time to dump your life partner/significant other/soulmate, or whatever it is you call your other half. Yes, dump them so you can be part of an event that will not come around properly for at least 100 years (depending on how much you are a stickler for palindromes). Or you could be really cool and declare this the Day of Corduroy. Read on for some translated hilarity from Chinese blogs and suggestions for where to go tonight.

Do you want ad space but are not too sure which medium to post it on? Why not try something that will be constantly ogled? A Weibo user by the name of “Lonely Little Fox” is renting out both of her breasts for ads and is charging RMB 2,000 for the privilege, which is a bargain if you ask me.

Looking for a place to rest your head? Taobao’s hot new item is a “Big Ass Pillow.” There’s no need to be lonely anymore. Now all guys can cozy up to a well shaped butt, complete with accompanying black and pink thong. Like any good Chinese product this idea is taken from a Japanese company that offers a whole range of spots to lie down on.

It felt like high school all over again. The girls were cordoned off on one side of the room, the boys on the other. Everyone avoided each other’s eyes, some nervous, others simply too proud.

For the evening, we were united in a common goal: a chance at finding true love. … Or, um, perhaps just sex.

On July 18, 28-year-old Silvano Zheng found himself the center of attention for something other than being an openly gay man in China. Signing copies of his newly published translation of Mary Renault’s The Persian Boy at a launch at Beijing’s LGBT center, and slicing pieces of a Hellenistic-themed cake for his friends and guests, Zheng reveled in people’s appreciation for his contribution, as a translator, to China’s LGBT community.

It seems one now-famous “gold digger” may have reshaped the Chinese dating show scene. After Ma Nuo, a contestant on If You Are the One, declared she’d “rather sit and cry in the back of a BMW” than ride on a boy’s bicycle, Chinese media has cracked down on “vulgar” reality show content.

Gasp! Shanghai Daily reports that Gong Li, recently divorced from her Singaporean husband, was seen in Beijing holding hands with Shanghai co-star John Cusack! I wonder if he held up a boombox in the middle of a hutong.

They’re everywhere in Beijing.  Alongside late night hairdressers,  adult sex shops (成人保健) have become a fixture of the city’s landscape, as the sex toy industry has exploded in China. Now the phenomenon is soon hitting movie screens, with Sam Voutas’ Red Light Revolution, a comedy about a Beijinger’s attempts to open a sex shop. It promises to be a Chinese-language movie unlike any other.

It’s a perennial subject in China’s online world, and once again a local female blogger has raised a divisive question – to date foreigners or not? ChinaSMACK has translated a call-to-arms against falling for Westerners; more specifically telling Chinese women not to sleep with Western men.

You can dress it up however you want, but burlesque, at its core, is about sex. That's the thrust with which female performers subverted Victorian paternalism in the mid-19th century. That's how it found a bedfellow with American jazz and the haut monde of the 1920s and 30s. That's the reason we recognize Dita Von Teese. And as the fine people of Moonglow Burlesque prepare to put on Beijing's first-ever burlesque show, "Moonglow Cabaret 1935" -- June 12, starting a minute before midnight -- burlesque will remain what burlesque is: a dance in the pin-up tradition of sex, swing and seduction.