12SQM

Joseph Kornides – tour leader extraordinaire, and a veteran of pubs, liquor stores, and wine bars – owns 12SQM, the smallest bar in Beijing. Shortly after my arrival, three patrons decided to leave. Maintaining my position was like trying to stay on the subway at Jianguomen in rush hour, because Joseph’s bar is exactly 12 square meters, nine of which are customer space. That leaves room for one table, a windowsill bench, a few barstools, a mini-sink, and nothing.

The space was once the residence of an old tenant who had lived in the hutong for fifty years, and Joseph did his damnedest to keep the homey flavor. He tore out the plaster ceiling to reveal a skeleton of original wood ribbing, and the home’s bricks make up part of the bar. The roof and three of the walls are shared with neighborhood residents, meaning that music stays low enough for a conversation, and that last call comes around midnight.

The walls are decorated with souvenirs from Joseph’s own travels. The back shelf, too, probably the largest in town in terms of shelf-to-bar ratio, holds hard-to-find bottles that Joseph picked up on the road. All the drinks have stories to them that you only have to ask to hear. Some particularly unique selections include Bundaberg, a 57.7 percent overproof Australian rum (RMB 45), Johnny Walker Green Label (RMB 40), and a respectable collection of Irish single-malts.

Joseph told me that he once fit 19 people in his bar, but I don’t believe him. I think he has been dealing with gullible tourists for too long. This is the best part about 12SQM: It feels like a cozy little apartment, where anyone who walks by can swing in and bullshit with his pals. When Joseph is out on tour, his better half manages the bar, and in the classic tradition of bartending, will strike up a friendly conversation with any kind of drunken lout from the hutong.

Matt P. Jager March 08

• Houhai