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How do Chinese girls think?

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sjc1116's picture
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Joined: Mar 13, 2008
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I am from Australia and have just met the first Chinese girl i really like and want to spend time with.

We have had dinner a few times and enjoy each others company.

I am just interested to know what particular customs or taboos to be aware of in China as i don't wish to offend her.

For example, i know not to give her a clock for a present!

Also, how do Chinese women view intimacy?...as we westerners seem to be more liberal about the issue.

Any help would be appreciated.

avianflu's picture
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Joined: Dec 28, 2006
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Christ, dude, it's a bit of an extended topic. Basically - proceed as you would if she was western.

However - understand that most Chinese women take relationships pretty seriously. I don't the history of how you met or where she's from but chances are that she'll get very serious very quickly and you'll have a hard time pulling out of it if you're not upfront with her about your intentions.

About your intentions...it sounds like you're kind of new here and that this thing with this girl is pretty new and that you may not fully understand what it is you're after yourself. If that's the case that proceed with caution.

How old is this girl? The older she gets the more inclined to marriage she will be. It's a bit of an adventure but it's fun.

There'll be more replies to follow - I expect a decent discussion about this topic so stay tuned. I'll add more as I see fit.

longdongsilver's picture
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Get bent, retard.

Fucking nerds.

YYZ's picture
YYZ
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if you're expecting a serious relationship with her, just be yourself.

if not, i believe many of the westerners on this forum are experienced in how to please chinese women, hah! they might give you some cool ideas. Wink

Forza! :O)

wefrucar's picture
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Girls are girls. Culture changes their outward behavior, but not how they feel deep down inside at the end of the day.

The biggest thing I could advise you to be aware of is that chinese girls like to say that they are "nice traditional girls" and therefore don't do things like drink alcohol, smoke, or kiss/sleep with boys they aren't married to.
This is usually a lie. They just don't want to FEEL like bad girls, so you have to take charge, be the instigator, push a little bit (not TOO much, we're not going for date rape here, but still just a tiny bit past their comfort level), all the while reassuring them that they are still nice and traditional.

Aside from that, I don't think you need to worry so much about accidentally offending her culture. Living in Australia, she should be aware that there are differences you just don't know about, and if you accidentally do something that would be a faux-pas in china, just talk about it and ask her to explain it because you didn't know before.

Oh and pay for the first date. (After that it's your call.)

avianflu's picture
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longdongsilver wrote:

You've married a Chinese woman haven't you? Why not offer up a bit of advice instead of coming across as a prick?

That said - the OP of this thread is coming across as a bit of 'tard...bone her, man, and see where things end up. Make mistakes and see where they take you like the rest of us have.

sjc1116's picture
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I am 28 , she is 25.

I have been in China for 8 months but only been with western chicks. This is the first Chinese girl i have found extremely attractive. I can speak Chinese reasonably well and she can speak English about the same level.

I will be here for work for at least another two years. I really enjoy China and have had a great time so far.

The reason i haven't been interested in a Chinese girl before is that i have found them rather 'clingy' but this one seems to be independent and able to deal with situations on her own and doesn't giggle like a 10 yr old school girl when a mature topic is broached.

Thanks

otto's picture
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sneak up from behind and pants her. if she cries, she likes you

that's what I did when I was 11

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Nah...too easy to be nasty... .

-Try not to speak too fast if her english is a bit clumsy
-Try not to force her eating western food (this will come with time, trust me)
-Try not to comment on her armpits and mustache
-Try not to talk politics (at least the first couple dates)
-Try not to go faster than her with your electric scooter
-Try not to argue when she wants to pay the restaurant's bill (it's a good thing anyways, ain't it?)
-Try to believe her if she says she's still virgin (even if she's 28, it might be true)
-Try to smother your laugh when she comes around with a T-shirt "I love Australia" or "Hello Kitty"
-Try to understand when she pulls out her umbrella under a bright sky.
-Try to not get angry when she'll be telling you "zhong guo you yi ju hua" (you might hear that one ten thousand times, get use to it)
-Try to pay attention, if she says "hummmm I love the color of your passport" or "hummmm your bank notes are so fancy, I love it", it might be a sign... .
-Try to run as far as possible if she goes like "You know, I have a 23 members family living in the outskirts of Beijing"

That's all I can think of right now. I'll get stonned for that but trust me some of these points are not to be taken lightly.

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Ditch her. Dating a Chinese girl is a fiendishly complicated procedure, as you obviously understand from your original post. The clock thing is just the start. One mistaken glance at her over the soup course and you'll have scores of generations of her ancestors cursing your luck for the rest of your days.

If you must insist upon this course of action, here's my advice - bribe the chaperone. They normally insist on silver, but I hear some are accepting opium these days.

HarryC's picture
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My girl gave me a clock as a present. There's the real world and then there's the Lonely Planet world.

Do the romantic shit first up, walk around hou hai, restaraunts, get to first base on a park bench.

Use language practice as the guise for getting her in your place. Play some hot lez porn they love that.

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Advice? Dunno really. Look out for the princess type,, some girls are pretty good at hiding it the first 3-4 months. If she is the kind of girl who is into expensive clothes, shoes, lavish presents and fancy dinners then be very carefull. As you know Chinese parents have a tendency to spoil their kid and it is expected in Chinese culture that a boyfriend will buy expensive presents for his girlfriend too.

This naturally has the effect on a certain number of girls that they will want to spend every single dollar dollar bill yo they can get their hands on. If she is like that or is hoping for something like that it would probably be for the best to get out asap. My friend has one of those gfs,, very beautiful but spoiled, brattish, has 60 pairs of shoes, 10 big boxes full of clothes, doesn't clean, cook or wash, do the shopping, the dishes or anything coz she feels like a princess who needs to be waitered hand and foot all the time.

My gf grew up poor on a farm and when she sees a pair of nice shoes she'll go "Uhm,, they are nice but 300 kuai is crazy" and not "Oh they are so lovely,, buy them for me".

karma2009's picture
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we r not her .the best answer is from her.so ask her .that is a way to show ur heart too.

otto's picture
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Danmairen, please tell me that you already know:

"Uhm,, they are nice but 300 kuai is crazy"

means exactly:

"Oh they are so lovely,, buy them for me"

It's the same...only one is looking at 3000 rmb shoes and the other at 300 rmb shoes.

you're supposed to buy them.

no need to thank me

jefflau's picture
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otto wrote:
Danmairen, please tell me that you already know:

"Uhm,, they are nice but 300 kuai is crazy"

means exactly:

"Oh they are so lovely,, buy them for me"

It's the same...only one is looking at 3000 rmb shoes and the other at 300 rmb shoes.

you're supposed to buy them.

no need to thank me

Thats pure genius. I wish you knew this much about English Teaching Blum 3

Count_zero's picture
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> > My gf grew up poor on a farm and when she sees a pair of nice shoes she'll go "Uhm,, they are nice but 300 kuai is crazy"

Lol

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They don't.

Think that is.

8}

Gdarmstong's picture
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Xelium23 wrote:

-Try not to comment on her armpits and mustache

this is a good piece of advise, listen to this man.

justace's picture
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yeah uh ,like standing in a park throwing out a stone cold statue pose, waiting for this pretty girl to walk by as she is shopping and she never shows.. whats up, YYZ ? Wink

YYZ's picture
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justace wrote:
yeah uh ,like standing in a park throwing out a stone cold statue pose, waiting for this pretty girl to walk by as she is shopping and she never shows.. whats up, YYZ ? Wink

are you still wating for me in that park? Biggrin

justace's picture
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hell yea, im no fool.
a good thing is worth waiting on. right. :SS

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Gdarmstong wrote:
Xelium23 wrote:

-Try not to comment on her armpits and mustache

this is a good piece of advise, listen to this man.

Gosh, this made my day, finally someone faces the fact!!

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Hey YYZ I'll meet you at that same park in twenty minutes OK?

You want to meet the famous, handsome and talented Robert Black don't you?

Better wear someting sexy.

Blum 3

Nerissa's picture
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lol, interesting!

A post,which asks for the opinion about how Chinese girls view their relationship with westerners, got a lot of opinions from westerners about how they see their relationship with Chinese girls. Biggrin

Danmairen's picture
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Well maybe but I don't get that feeling when she says something like that. I would on the other hand rather buy a nice gift from time to time so that she appreciates it more than if it is expected of me and I have to do it several times a month. We are basically like children that way. If you give a child everything he wants all the time he won't appreciate anything and he will be spoiled and out of touch with how real life works. I guess its similar to those princess girl types. If a girl gets angry with me and wants to break up just because I am not showering her with gifts all the time (some weird idea of proof of love?) then she probably isn't worth spending time on anyway.

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Danmairen wrote:
If a girl gets angry with me and wants to break up just because I am not showering her with gifts all the time (some weird idea of proof of love?) then she probably isn't worth spending time on anyway.

It's not that weird. This is legitimately how some chinese girls think guys show their love. Kinda natural when you see that their dads don't talk to or touch them or their wives, but buy them things, and that all their boyfriends are boring as hell but shower them with expensive presents. They learn to understand that buying presents = loving someone.
It's a trained cultural thing. Westerners don't agree with it because we've been trained to see that kind of behavior as gold-digging or false love.

It's like an american girl who complains, "You never say you love me." Maybe you do love her and are showing it in your own way, but she doesn't feel it because to her, you have to say it to prove it.
For a lot of Chinese girls, you have to buy it to prove it Lol

Gdarmstong's picture
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Xelium23 wrote:
Gdarmstong wrote:
Xelium23 wrote:

-Try not to comment on her armpits and mustache

this is a good piece of advise, listen to this man.

Gosh, this made my day, finally someone faces the fact!!

fact is fact that is not hard to face, what is hard to face is how people jutify the truth by their own standard.

i thought it was a good advice because it perhaps could really save OP from awkard situation in case he confronts the issue to his girl, i mean if she was a tough chinese lady, she might tell him to shave his armpits and be her bitch. i bet she wouldnt mind his mustache though.

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petersblog2 wrote:
Hey YYZ I'll meet you at that same park in twenty minutes OK?

You want to meet the famous, handsome and talented Robert Black don't you?

Better wear someting sexy.

Blum 3

so are you Robert Black? is he really that famous? why? if yes, i want to know him! hahahaha Angel

Nerissa wrote:
lol, interesting!

A post,which asks for the opinion about how Chinese girls view their relationship with westerners, got a lot of opinions from westerners about how they see their relationship with Chinese girls. Biggrin

chinese girls did give comments, but usually their comments were ignored or not accepted, maybe because these western men have had too many romantic stories with chinese girls to share with us. hahaha, look out!

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YYZ can you stop PM'ing me please. It's getting on my nerves.

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You may want to move to the cybersex thread.

Wink

YYZ's picture
YYZ
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Xelium23 wrote:
YYZ can you stop PM'ing me please. It's getting on my nerves.

Xelium23 i was just about to set you free but you seem to enjoy staying in jail too much, ok then, as you wish, i'll let you get back there.

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