I wish you'd leave already.

You're like a bitchy old woman.

Meaaahhhh... slutty stupid chinese girls, people talking to me, meeeahhhh....

Shut the f-uck up drama queen.

I'm a gay man in China, meaaahhhh.... everything annoys me.

Will Watson get his happy ending in China?
Stay tuned folks.

"fi dolla, fi dolla for you my flend. Nice plice for you"

That's HK

"flend, flend, you my flend. Coming wif me, me have beuriful painting jast fou you. Nice plice, too. oooonly 1 towsand yuan!!" "Tea? Why yes, we have. oooonly 500 hundled yuan! Hahaha, foringer suckas!"

Lovely wangfujing that one.

"hallowr, hallowr", "laowai, laowai!"

Pretty much everywhere.

Funny thing. During college back in the states, my Taiwanese Mandarin teacher would on occasion refer to me as a "laowai" in front of my taiwanese/mainland classmates. The f-ing nerve!!! Haha, so might hear that one again back home.

Watson admits he hates china. but he is correct, china sucks in many ways.

i dont dislike watson, he is correct and honest and smart and i wish he had a nice ending at the end of this year.

Shanks LDS, I'd be lost without your guidance in these matters. The appropriate changes have been made as I'm sure you're aware.

My personal favorites, 'OK, last price', and 'Your Chinese is so good'.

"HEALLWOAH!!!" (shouted at you from 20 metres behind)
However, after reading these boards for a bit now, I can't entirely rule out the possiblity that wasn't just Watson all this while.

"You want USB, ...you want MP3, ...you want sexy movie?"
(Wow, nailed my profile 'to a T' at a glance!)

"Ooooaaaah *points* Laowai!"
(no sh*t Sherlok)

"You teach me English, now?!"
(yeah sure random pedestrian girl, never met you before but patch up the wet-ware, we'll do a cerebral dump right here in the middle of the footpath and by-pass that whole superfluous education thing huh?)

Average people on street after seeing my GF and I together.
"Ohhhh Laowai, ...ZhongGuo, ... *much whipsering behind hands*"
(Yep thats right, notice her radiant glow and satisfied smile?)

And the winner is, ... the ex-girlfriend!
"Ni xiu gai Wo liang cheyen kwaiiiiiiaaiii!!"
('We have been going out for 2 months, ... don't even bother coming near me with that wife-payment, "give me security" honor-tradition, psuedo-cultural, b.s.!!!')

howr ruo make uh so mush

"eXpat.....but I'm an eeXPAAAAAT, Waaaaaaaaah."

Sorry, I don't really know why it pisses me off.
Odd.

Also.

"Community"

Oh God yes, ... that personifies your stereotypical "Expat"!
Pants belted up around his chest, pocket-protector at the ready, squinting into the swarming crowd in that screwed up confused fashion like "this wasn't here yesterday".

OMG I JUST REALIZED, IT'S F***ING PADDINGTON BEAR !!!

Looka looka : "Look, look !" with a thick Yaxiu chinglish accent.

The second one doesn't really make sense.

You never tried to put the fix on your Laowai boyfriend and ask for a hand out YYZ ?

The lucky bastard.

So that's a "yes" then ?

Friend price

I don't want to hear "shuai ge...". I feel like leaving the imprint of my fist on face of the woman who says that. I wouldn't raise my hand on a woman, but damn, it really grates me when they use that term with me.