The homoerotic tension in No Holds Barred could have been toned down by making it a five hour gay porn epic. This would at least offer some context for Hogan's moustache. Still, it's unlikely to be the case that as little as five hours of explicit homosexual intercourse could produce anything as obscenely graphic as the final wrestling match between Rip and Zeus.

I can't even begin to imagine how many Hogan fans celebrated his win over Zeus by masturbating and then crying because they don't love their wife. Although there's no evidence to suggest it, I'm certain that the pitch meeting for this movie ended with the director suggesting that everyone in the room should touch dicks.

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