Thank you Wefrucar...

In our relationship he leads the guiding pozition, I never text or call him voluntarily. At first, I was intending to classify our relationship into pure lover,just body connection,less emotion and thus avouiding falling love with him.But you never know,after several months we found we are so perfect match in every aspects,we understand the humor of each other,he knows me so well,every seconds we spend together is sweet and happy...

He understands my wiredness,I could play with several guys in the same period but I am a crazy fan of cat and like little kids that much.When we talked about my departure this August,I couldn't help crying till my make-up was totally blurry.Once he said"I know you are insecure and vulnerable inside although you behave so slutty my dear",I couldn't help bursting into tears,no one could undersand me more than him.I always smile in front of people pretending to be a strong girl,but sometimes cry secretly when stay alone. I have been used to hiding and supressing my feeling, I don't contact him even I miss him like crazy...

I spent several months to ensure my real feeling towards him,for him I think it was also not easy. Now he will be in Italy for two weeks, I stll have two love bites on my neck made by him before departure.In the airport, he texted me that he was leaving,wanting me to be a good girl and wait his return.He is always like this, never tells me you should do this, shouldn't do that.Actually, I really want him to say don't contact with other guys any more, you are mine!He is so tricky,leaving the problem to me and letting myself to make the decision.

We have two months remaining and now he is in Italy and will stay there for two weeks.Hard to express my sadness...The day he went to Italy, I really wanted to tell him take care my dear, gonna miss you so much, I love you...I have typed these words already but then deleted them,and then called my friends to go shopping for the whole day and even missed his call from airport.

haha, I know you..

Oh, you really scared me now...

But he only calls me like this during sex,just a stimulation and it works well I have to say.Don't need to take it too seriously.

The first time he said I love you , I almost didn't believe my ears,since he only says I do like you so much beforehand. I even had no gut to ask him to make sure if I really heard wrong.

From then on, he always whispers beside my ears and tells he loves me,then kisses my forehead. It is so sweet but I still feel insecure since he is Pisces,extremely good at acting and romantic.I know it is kinda stupid to judge a person by sign, but after getting along with each other,he is really this kind of person. He would push me against the wall and kiss me like crazy in the street.When I feel cold,he would take off the coat and wrap me inside.When I see him off in the tube or bus, he would gazes at me and says I love you until he couldn't see me.We always act the scenario we first met each other in the tube...

One day, I couldn't tolerate any more and asked him he said he loves me ,it is his real inside or just trys to make me happy? I know I am too ridiculous but it is a torment to always guess. He said of course he meant it otherwise he would not say that. Then I asked why you love me, we are from different background,totally different culture ,language and living habit.It might be easy for you to like someone from different nationality because of exoticism,but love ,ome on, everyone knows it is too much a precious word and hard to find...He answerd because of deep connection...You may easily like someone by appearance but what makes you go further is personality...

It is also shocking for me to find a foreigner guy that could know me so well,he could always tell my mind. I feel being protected and cared by him from the bottom of my heart.We have simillar life value even though some are different, but we respect each other.He likes Chinese cuisine and I am also fond of western cuisine too.We like traveling and have common view that there is no need to stick with each other all day long, we still have our own life when together...

No need to deny...it is just a little trick between couple...

Thank you walls,you really hit my inside. For study and frienship, I am always hardworking and positive. But in relationship, I become a kinda creepy. I am afraid of being lonly and expect true love, but at the same time ,I am always looking for new and exictment and afraid of being hurt by taking someone serious...From my past experience, I was always heartbroken when really love someone, I am scared of touching love now...

Paradoxical and pathetic...