I went to the Stumble Inn with my wife recently for the second and last time.

The place was not even half full and we couldn’t get served. The Irish manager seemed to be dealing with it, but mostly by scowling at the staff and eyeballing the customers.

The food menu has shrunk pretty drastically for a place I thought had a western chef? They also seem to have upped their prices by quite cleverly putting 8 on top of everything to squeeze a few extra kuai out of an already overpriced food menu. We’ll be having our 2-for-1 burgers in Blue Frog next time I find myself in the Village, thank you very much.

I will say the beer menu is pretty impressive and lots of great American brews, but it took me so long to get served I only managed to have two. It did give me plenty of time to check out their website though, which on the ‘About’ page has a comically self-involved, egomaniacal diatribe about how it is the “best bar ever”, whose founder is “the King of Beijing nightlife” and wears some sort of crown encrusted with imaginary bars.

That’s not nearly as impressive as the apparent claim that they have the only qualified food and beverage manager in Beijing. There’s a distinct possibility these guys have never been in anyone else’s bar, because I can immediately think of about 10 qualified F&B experts in Beijing (and they all know how to smile at their customers).

They top off this frenzied rant with a ‘my d**k is bigger’ joke about the size of their drinks menu. Nice.

All in all, an average bar that (despite having the biggest d**k in Beijing) isn’t worth 8 kuai of my money.