Uniformity: Gabriel Trane Clermont , Filmmaker

Uniformity is a regular magazine column where we ask Beijing personalities about the various outfits that have defined them over the years.

When we asked freelance filmmaker Gabriel Trane Clermont to think back over all the uniforms he’s ever worn, we were broadly defining “uniform” to refer to clothes/headwear that:

• He was required to wear in particular situations
• Were not of his choosing and not from his personal wardrobe
• Were either provided to him or that he had to pay for
• Others were also wearing at the same time

Which uniform was the most flattering?
Absolutely none. High school, where it was like, wear a shirt, tie and dress pants, how could you go wrong? But it was all ill-fitting suit jackets and huge baggy pants. Then we’d work as hard as we could to not actually be wearing the uniform. So everyone was trying to sneak and wear black air forces because from a distance they looked like dress schools. Sartorially tough years.

Which uniform was the worst fit?
I played in a kickball tournament last year in Beijing where each team had a theme. Ours was boy scouts. They were just..small. They were tailored by a dude at Yashow and I feel like while the fit might have been right for say, playing dice games in a smoky club, or ogling Russians at Suzie Wongs, they were not at all designed with actually running around and being active.

Plus, just on a personal level, it didn’t fit, because you know, they actual boy scouts are dicks.

Did you ever feel transformed by wearing any of these uniforms? If so, which ones?
High school, when I was in the musical. You know, you have like these intense costumes, and then the stage make-up and everything. It did feel...pretty damn fabulous.

Did you ruin any of these uniforms? How?
I tried to tie-dye the golf jumper. Did not work.

Which uniform did you resent wearing the most?
I caddied at the most expensive golf course in the world (true story) and it just sucked to be hanging out with millionaires and shooting the shit outside, in this perfectly manicured natural space, dressed like some goddamn manservant and fetching people drinks.

That being said, I made a ton of money and I’d steal beer on my way home. So I guess over all, eh.

Which uniform do you feel most sentimental about? Why?
To be honest, none of them. They all represent time and places in my life that I’m glad I experienced, but I’m perfectly happy having moved on from them.

Tell us a story about wearing a uniform somewhere where you felt out of place.
My whole city growing up had to wear uniforms, so hanging out after school or whatever was always cool. But if we did inter-city things, then we were the weird kids taking themselves too seriously. So my senior year, I was in this televised quiz bowl tournament with some classmates. We’re up there in our suits and jackets (no Timberlake), and we’re up against this other school from Kearny. Which is...Kearny. Anyways, we’re rolling on them, jump out to a big lead, and just get cocky. We’re throwing out fake answers, shooting texts to people, just really being the villains in a scrappy high school underdog movie. And of course, this rag tag group of misfits comes back and beats us on the last question. The Breakfast Club bands together and takes down the Monstars at the All Valley Karate Tournament . So yeah, we’re standing there playing the role of the totally douchey private school kids who got their comeuppance, and our teacher just got us the hell out of there.

Which uniform did you have the most fun in?
Rocking a jimmy hat with ya moms. Got ‘ems.

Which uniform were you most mocked for wearing?
Marching band definitely. I mean, just considering the hats alone. Some guy tried to buy my hat in Jacksonville in a parking lot. Offered $200 and I turned him down. One of my bigger regrets. Also, they’re technically not even called hats. They’re called “Shako’s.” That’s a piece of knowledge that I’ll always have to know, and now you will too.

Which uniform would be considered the least fashionable?
I got bamboozled into being in the school musical senior year, and umm, yeah. It was Aida. I was part of the “slave chorus”. I’m just...yeah...

Watch the music video Gabriel shot for local DJ Wordy Soulspeak's "High All the Time"

And check out more of his video work on Vimeo

A version of this article appeared in the May 2013 issue of the Beijinger.