Date Night China: How Beijingers Met Their Partners

Joey Knotts, Contributing Editor | Oct 6, 2021 11:32 am | Add a comment | 898 reads

This article comes from Date Night China (WeChat ID: datenightchina), a media platform and events organization that shares stories about dating and relationships in China. To learn more about upcoming events and connect with others in the DNC community, add co-host Rachel to join their WeChat group: rachelweiss22.

Where Do People Find Love in China?

Many China daters often lament on how difficult it is to find long term partner or serious relationship in China. It can feel like dating is all about endless Tinder swipes and late night bar hookups...but don’t lose all hope. Love is out there and we have stories to prove it!

We took a survey asking China daters who are in relationships or previously were in one, where they met their partner and the story about the meeting.

Now, we didn’t get into the nitty-gritty details on relationship definitions - we’re not here to DTF (define the relationship). That, dear readers we’ll save for another time.

We’re here to find out how people found ways past (or through) the hook-up culture that seems prevalent among many circles in China, especially in Beijing.

Where are people meeting their partners in China?

In our survey, comprised of 41% males and 59% females, respondents shared where they met and the story behind the moment.

Many of these daters were looking for a serious relationship, while others were actually looking for a rebound or hookup that turned into something more.

36 percent through online dating

Whether you’re using Tinder, Tantan, or another online-dating platform, the online dating world is where most people in our survey have met their significant others. Many of these platforms have the stigma of only being for hookups, but the proof is in the pudding (or this survey) that they can definitely be more.

Some of the relationships took some time to flourish. Others happened immediately after swiping.

“We met on Tinder. After awhile we had one date, then I flew home for a few weeks, came back, we had a couple of dates, COVID hit, he went into self-quarantine, I flew home, came back after 7 months and we started dating again until today."

“Both swiping right made things right.”

"We were both bored so just met on Tinder. Turns out the algorithm works!"

"Met on Tinder and added each other on Wechat. We met up irl at Concrete & Grass Music festival in Shanghai and got married a year later."

"We matched on Bumble and had a great first date."

"Met online. Had lunch. Went to an art lecture."

"I had just left a really shitty relationship and was swiping through Tantan for rebound sex, and I matched with my now partner, who was just in the Beijing airport on his way home. We talked every day for a couple months before finally meeting. Now we have a baby together.

22 percent through mutual friends

Your friends are a great resource for meeting new romantic interests! Chances are they have social circles that vary from yours through their own work and hobbies.

"Met my partner through their ex-hookup, but in Beijing where the dating pool is small- sharing is caring!"

"Met at a friend’s housewarming party. She liked my dog."

"My friend (a foreigner) married a Chinese man. I met my boyfriend at her wedding."

"We had known each other for about two years, but we were either drunk, at random events, and never swapped contacts. eventually I became really good friends with one our mutual friends, and we started seeing each other more regularly and started talking more. eventually he made we a cassette tape of some of his music and we kicked it off from there and became very good friends before dating."

11 percent through work

Office romances can be tricky (or sometimes super-steamy), but there are some that bloom into long-term relationships that go the distance.

"I fell in love at the first sight at work."

"We worked together. I hated him and he was indifferent toward me for a year. Then he smiled at me as we passed in the subway and I was smitten. "

"I was working a summer job at Yellowstone National Park, and my now wife was working there on a student visa as she was on her final year of school. We long-distance dated (travel back and forth to/from US&Europe) for about 4 years before tying the knot."

9 percent through a hobby

Hobbies are a great way to meet other people with mutual interests. Get involved in an activity you love, and at the very least you'll make new friends while spending time doing something you enjoy.

"I was new in Hangzhou and wanted to find friends with common interests. Nobody uses Meetup.com here, so I planned my own meetup to hike up a local mountain and posted it in the first WeChat group I got added to - a Couchsurfing group. Four people showed up: three girls and a very handsome guy. We lost touch but ran into each other again six months later and started dating. We’ve been together for 4 years now."

"Mutual fitness classes and a friend made us talk."

"We met on an FCN trip to Penglai. I was advertised as a romantic trip so we were all a bit worried many couples would join in the trip. The opposite was true. I went on my own and he went with a fellow teacher. We stayed in touch after the trip and one thing led to another. We owe FCN."

9 percent at a bar or party

"We both were at a language exchange party. I was looking for some one couldn’t speak English well so I wanted to improve my Chinese that way. Fortunately there’s a girl sitting alone not joining to a group of people. I noticed that the group was talking in English she just was listening to people’s conversation. I walked up her said “hi” and she went “oh I’m sorry my English is not good” so I thank God that I finally could find some one that I had been looking for. We had 2 hours conversation and I asked her out just a veery next day hahaha. Now we are really happy couple."

"Just walked in a bar and sat at the table next to him, started talking after a while."

"Performance party in campus/mutual friend's home party..."

"She approached me at a party ."

"He tried to buy me a drink but I turned him down since I was only drinking water. (I was already kinda tipsy) he tried to hit on me and "get out of there" but, again, I turned him down and got a cab home. He reached out the next day and invited me out for the drink I didn't accept the big before."

5 percent met other ways

"I asked about some book and worker didn't speak English, but she was there looking for some books too, so she helped me. Everything else is history..."

"I was looking for a quick way to charge my dying phone. My future partner noticed another person with an unused powerbank on the table and asked if I could use it. I was appreciative that a stranger would go out of his way to help me. We got some fries and chatted a bit while my phone was charging. Even though his English wasn’t great, he was a great listener and kept the conversation moving. He asked if we could take a walk and keep chatting. He was a perfect, thoughtful gentleman despite lacking confidence in speaking. We kept meeting and it was clear that for him, it was love at first sight. I felt comfortable very quickly and trusted his heart enough to fly to his country and get married a month later. I am so glad I did. I am grateful for him every day. "

"I was the square dance caller and she was a parton at the bar there for a friend's birthday."

"We both were strangers on a trip and then started dating. We then realised we both were having a great time. So decided to make it long term and we have been together for 5 months now. "

"He’s my primary schoolmate. Bumped into him at a club back when we were both in HK. OMG. He was with a foreign girl (quite cute with big boobs ). And when they left, he said 'I’m gonna bring her back to hotel.' I was like this dude is way too honest! But at the end he was saying she’s a friend in New Zealand where he went to high school and the girl’s whole family had come to HK. He promised her mother to bring her back safely lol."

Meeting a Partner in China

Love can happen anywhere, in the most unusual ways and unexpected places. For some, online dating is a great option and creates the chance to meet someone you might never cross paths with in real life.

Going through online dating fatigue? Try a new activity, visit a new bar, or ask a mutual friend to set you up with someone!

There's no one-method-fits all for love, and everyone's timing looks different as well. All we can say is, keep pursuing your own self-growth and passions, and enjoy the journey along the way.

How did you meet your partner? Comment below or share your story with the DNC team.