The Beijing Christening: Ten Things Every True Beijinger Must Do

If you've now lived in Beijing long enough to call it home, you might consider yourself a true Beijinger. You can’t help but correct all the wrong pronunciations with the beejings and beechings. You own this Beijing thing ... or do you? The Beijinger badge is not claimed, it’s earned! 

We all know that visiting the Forbidden City or the Great Wall is a Beijing must, but there is a moment when you cross that tourist line and actually begin living the life of a true Beijinger. Here, we've compiled a list of some classic and slightly unorthodox but very Beijing things that will tell you if you have gone through your Beijing Christening. 

1. Cried Alone in the Subway

Can you even really call yourself a true Beijinger if you haven't absolutely lost your sanity while on a subway ride? Maybe it was a bad day at work, a breakup or you just missed your parents a little too much. It’s an integral part of the Beijing Christening to let your tears flow while riding the lightning-fast, ground-shaking metro. After all, where but in Beijing would you find all that drama?

2. The Jianbing Journals

You can never really be one with Beijing if you haven't tried a jianbing. It's like China’s take on a Crunchwrap Supreme but on steroids. A thin layer of batter with a cracked egg swirled over it is then topped with a crispy cracker and an array of pickled vegetables chopped and sliced to perfection, which is then wrapped up like a present with a dousing of glossy brown sauce and some chili, if you're feeling brave. Made before your eyes, the jianbing is flipped and toasted in Michelin star moves then handed to you in a paper pocket, and there you have it – the most iconic Beijing breakfast snack.

3. Step up to the Spit

The Beijing experience is incomplete if you have not stepped on an almost warm, freshly spat spit on the sidewalk. It is the city’s way of marking you, making you its own. As disgusted as it might make you and as traumatized as you might be the next time you follow a hooded figure with a cigarette dangling in their hand, stepping on someone’s freshly spat frothy spit is the very next step to your Beijing journey. So if this happens, check this off your list and feel the welcoming vibes just embrace you!

4. The Subway Rush Hour

You are not a true Beijnger until you've experienced squeezing your body into a packed subway car and thrusting yourself forwards so your butt cheeks don’t get caught between the subway doors. The rush hour is Beijing’s way of testing your grit. If you get through a Beijing rush hour with your sanity intact, there is nothing that can bother you. Congratulations, you have been knighted and you have seen it all. 

5. Cut Those Carbs

If you go to a Chinese buffet and no longer crave noodles and rice … behold! You have been baptized, you are born anew, and you’re now a living, breathing Beijinger! It was never about the rice and mounds of other cheap carbs that fill you up. Every true Beijinger knows that if you're doing a Chinese buffet right, it’s all about the meat! 

6. The Curse of Bikelessness

You own Beijing, but the city really owns you back if you have faced this situation. Here’s how it goes: You're running late and rush out to grab a share bike, but your hopes die when there are no share bikes in sight. You look around frantically trying to make sense of the world until you resign to fate and walk the hard walk to try and find one or resort to Didi to get your way out of that pickle. Worry not because this is Beijing’s way of telling you you are ready. The curse of bikelessness is more a blessing than a curse. Your glutes will thank you, anyway…

7. The Youtiao, the Soy Milk and the Scallion Pancake

The Beijing Christening demands a feast, and at some point in your Beijing journey, you've got to visit one of those breakfast joints that always seems to be crammed in between a package delivery center and an unassuming ayi’s little grocery shop. The go-to order has to be a youtiao, paired with a cup of warm soy milk to chug down and a scallion pancake for good measure. Now, you're a Beijinger if you’ve ever seen one.

8. A Subway Delay: The Beijing Unicorn

What is the Beijing equivalent of a unicorn? A delay on the Beijing Subway. It is a rare sighting, like a heart-shaped tomato, but it happens, and if you were there to see it, you’ve seen history unwind right before your eyes. Beijing has become vulnerable and shown you its nooks and crannies, those dark little crevices it hides. 

9. A Quack Quack Here and a Quack Quack There

Exploring the city’s bustling culinary scene is an absolute pleasure, and Peking Duck is an experience all of its own. With its shiny, crackly skin and soft meat that just melts in your mouth that is stuffed inside a pancake with a smear of sauce and some sliced spring onions and cucumber, it's nothing short of a rollercoaster ride for one’s tastebuds. But what makes you a real Beijinger is paying some extra RMB to get the leftover duck carcass turned into some mean soup to go with it. 

10. May the Fourth (Floor) Be With You

Being a true Beijinger comes with great responsibility. To finally prove that you are worthy, you must pass the last milestone: the mysterious missing fourth floor. At some point in your Beijing journey, you will find a building that will move from the third to the fifth floor with zero remorse, but in your heart of hearts, you will know the fourth is with you! You are the chosen one and Beijing has taken off its giant goose down jacket to show you its true self.

So, if you have gone through these milestones in your Beijing journey, there is a high chance the ancestors have taken you in and you are part of the clan. You’ve been christened! You can’t leave, you can’t undo it, it’s within you and you’re within it! 

Congratulations, fellow Beijinger. Happy Beijinging! 

READ: Mandarin Monday: Decoding Chinese Number and Letter Slang

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