britomart wrote:

These are funny to me--all things that I was told when I first arrived here, and tried diligently to observe. I have now learned:

1. You CAN criticize others in public--you just have to do it in a very "Chinese" way, smiling constantly, laughing a bit, expressing the criticism in such a way as to make the offending party feel that he can do (or not do) what you're asking, while still saving face. I am constantly criticizing colleagues, my dear wuye people, random folks on the street... It all has to do with how you criticize--and our direct Western manner doesn't cut it here.

2. You CAN say “no” directly--as long as you smile a LOT and are very, very nice. Sometimes you have to give a reason for your "no" (something very general), but most of the time you can just say "it's not convenient right now--how about next time?" (现在不太方便，我们下次吧) or "So sorry, but I have something to do" (真不好意思，我有事).

3. Occasionally it's strategic to use the noon break to your advantage--such as when you have to go register your residence at the local police station. I always time my arrival so I'm there about 10-15 minutes before their noon break. They're always extremely motivated to get me registered without asking any unnecessary nosey questions.

4. Dressing up here is very different from dressing up in Western countries. I've had I-don't-know-how-many Chinese bosses and colleagues over the past 13 years. Professional office attire ranges from dress pants/shirts to jeans/T-shirt to exercise attire. In formal meetings, suits may or may not be worn. As long as your apparel is clean, neat and generally doesn't warrant undue attention (i.e. skip the miniskirts, etc. if you want to be taken seriously), you're good.

5. Yes, don’t forget your name card when going to social events--that is, if you WANT to network. Occasionally, it's wise to strategically forget one's name card if one doesn't really want every Tom and Wang to be calling, texting, emailing, spamming for the next few days, weeks, months, years. It kind of depends on the social gathering, on whether they're the kind of people you would really want to be giving your contact info to.

6. You CAN avoid answering the private questions--Chinese do it all the time! I smile a lot, laugh occasionally, give vague answers, and quickly take charge of the question asking, i.e. Q: How much do you make? A: Oh, enough to live on. Everything's getting so damned expensive in Beijing now, though. A friend of mine just bought an apartment outside the 5th Ring--cost her xxx per square meter. Can you believe that? Do you own an apartment? When did you buy it? How much did it cost you? etc. etc. etc. It's all about grabbing that conversational ball and running with it.

7. It's ok to eat all your food in a restaurant--if you're with friends! When with friends, no one is all that concerned about appearances like that. It's only when at business meals or other formal banquets that you avoid chowing down, and leave a bit of food on your plate.

8. You CAN accept an invitation right away--if you're good friends! Again, it depends on how close you are! And it can also be tricky refusing a superior who's conferring a favor upon you by issuing the invitation. Occasionally they're expecting you to accept right away, because they know you're a Westerner, and don't do the "refuse three times" thing--and will be uncertain how to proceed when you refuse at first. It's a funny business, really; I often try to get around the confusion by laughing and then describing the cultural difference directly. It usually helps the relationship to do that, since it gets some of the cultural differences right out in the open so you can just laugh at them and move on.

9. Yes, don’t forget the seating chart--but only if you're in formal situations, and you're the one hosting the meal. With friends, it's kind of weird to be that concerned about positions, unless you're celebrating a special occasion for a friend and then want to make a big deal about it.

10. Yes, don't try to ask people on the street for directions. Look up stuff online in advance (with Google and Baidu maps, how can you go wrong?) When you're out on the streets hunting for your destination, stick to specifics like "Is Beixinqiao intersection near here? Do I keep going in this direction or turn around?" You can hedge your bets by asking three or four people and taking the majority opinion--of course waiting to ask for a second or third opinion until the first person you stopped is out of sight. :P

Strongly agree, and this reply is correct for current situations in major cities, like BSGSH (北上广深杭, Beijing-Shanghai-Guangzhou-Shenzhen-Hangzhou). The article is outdated.

In another hand, although the article posted is so old-fashined (happened in 80s), it still works in the medium & small cities and rural areas where few people have met foreigners. If you would be somewhere like that, keep the article in mind.

I'm mystified by the opening paragraph. An alarmist, is someone who invents or exaggerates danger by false or exaggerated reports, with the intention of spreading panic.

I've not met or read any of these alarmists. Are you suggesting that an international school's intention to protect the children in their care is alarmist? It's alarmist for anyone to suggest that they should leave the city?

Far from alarmist, that's actually a pretty smart idea. What happens to developing lungs, brains, immune systems with pollution of this type and severity at regular intervals throughout childhood? Can you tell us? Have you looked through NIEHS air pollution studies and dismissed the children's study in Mexico City, which showed wide-spread lung damage in the children? Or any of the studies linking pollution, in cities with levels far lower than this one regulary posts, to lung cancer, rises in blood pressure, asthma and even lower IQ's for children who's mothers are exposed to a lot of pollutiion while pregnant? (Thats the Mailman School of Public Health, Columbia University study, if you need help finding it.) Plenty of these studies are observational and bear further research, but they are sufficiently concerning that people ought to know about them and take them into account. And again: they are mostly done in cities with pollution levels far, far below what we see normally, not just during the worst times, here in Beijing. People shouldn't be castigated for choosing to move away in the interest of their own health and that of their families.

So far I haven't met anyone rushing about insisting that we all have to leave or we'll all die (which would be alarmist). I've only met people discussing it like rational beings, and people making the personal decision to leave for themselves. Who are you to call these people alarmist?

But thank goodness. We've got some guy who runs a website or something to tell us why it happens. That will make everything ok....

Excuse me. Where is the vomiting section? BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHH Never mind, man. I found it.

This is so disgusting! I heard it...remind me of eating-snack competition in restroom when we were in middle school, not girls only boys.. >:) .....maybe it is a good method to keep in shape.

We are specifically looking for potential full-time writers and editors for theBeijinger and Agenda - come by if you're interested in finding out more. Also, Cu Ju is a cozy space so please be aware that space will be limited to first-come-first serve.

I enjoy your writings, and will drop by to say Hi. Cheers, -Peter

I don't take the taxi often but when I have had to, it seems it is very difficult to find a taxi. However, as I drive around Chaoyang, I often see lines of taxis just sitting during the busy times of the day. For your train experience, I had something similar, being on a late train and having them ask for 500yuan to take me to the Shunyi area. I was willing to bargain but they did not budge and called me a lot of bad names as I left to get the subway. It took a long time to get home because of transfers but the price was nice to my wallet.

wow, 24 hour bookstore in Sanlitun?

This is either a stroke of marketing genius or an recipe for disaster.

Can you imagine the post-bar crawl minions from Sanlitun's seedier joints stumbling in to fumble around for the title "100 Ways to Prevent a Hangover" at 3:30am

hi,niko
do you remenber me?