Now, me an me Dad, we had a contest one time to see who could make the stinkiest cheese of us all. So I goes out, buys a chunk of limburger, slices and dices, wedges it between me bum-crack, tapes me bum-crack up with duct tape. Then I goes and labours for a coupla days, haulin in the hay bales, never mind Micky and Geza 's funny sneers about me waddle. I had bigger fish to fry. And waits. Patient I am.
Now Dad weren't no dummy, he gets a chunka bleu cheese, leaves it rotting in the sun for a day an two, and when the plasticity were ripe, smears it between his toes an wraps the whole thing up wi tinfoul.
So there we was, Dad hobbled, me waddled. Mixing us up some very stinky cheese.
Now we was a competitive lot, and he nor I wished to unencumber our respective body parts until the day of Judgement.
Finally, as Judges we agreed that Douglas and Lucille, our common callico Cats, should be the decisioners.
So I drops me drawers, unburdens me bum-crack in face of Douglas, whereupon he keels over dead. Likewise Dad unwraps week old foot wrapped blue cheese toes in face of Lucille, ... she keels over dead.
We called it a draw.