Water Polo: The Sport Of Kings ... With Nose Clips

All we knew about water polo was that it wasn’t Ralph Lauren’s swimwear line, so we asked the Beijing Ducks water polo team to fill us in.

Where do you keep the horses?
They rest underwater between matches. We maintain kelp beds along the bottom so they can take nibbles during practice ... and disguise themselves when predators loom. My horse’s name is Poseidon.

Who plays?
The water polo team is a diverse group. We have guys and girls from all over the globe coming out to play: Americans, Aussies, Chinese, Brits, Spaniards, and Eastern Europeans. Anyone and everyone’s welcome to join.

Can you play if you can’t swim?
Yes, we have inner tubes. In fact, they’re quite popular on days that players show up to practice hungover ... or still drunk. If you can’t swim and you lose your inner tube, there are plenty of us around with somewhat-current lifeguard training that can save you. This might result in you ending up with a silly nickname, though, like “French Kiss.”

Is the game easy to pick up?
The Beijing Ducks was formed so that new players could come out to learn about a new sport and experienced players can relive their trash-talking glory days. During scrimmage, beginners match up with beginners and experienced players match up on each other to keep teams even.

Which skills from other sports are useful?
Coming from an overhand throwing sport helps with shooting skills. Basketball and soccer players intuitively understand spacing and ball movement. Being able to swim is a plus.

How often does the pool look like a scene from Jaws?
Pretty much every Sunday, when the Hungarians show up. Their credo is “No blood, no foul.”

Explain water polo in four words or less.
Tread. Swim. Shoot. Score.

Where can we buy the cool hats?
A couple factories in Shenzhen produce water polo gear, but chances are good you’ll get a shanzhai piece of headwear. Best bet is to make nice with Shane. He’s the Aquatic Director of ISB and graciously allows us to use all the equipment and facilities.

Which sport is water polo’s sworn enemy?
Spearfishing. They limit the available stock of seahorses. It makes it more difficult to tame an eligible sea companion.

The Beijing Ducks practice on Sundays from 2-4 pm at ISB. For more info, e-mail stephanie.hsiao@gmail.com.