Throwback Thursday: Are You Amused Yet? The Wild World of Chinese Theme Parks

It's weird, it's wonderful, it's a deep-dive into 11 years of blog archives. It's time for Throwback Thursday...

Despite their promise of fun for all the family, theme parks have the ability to divide people into bitterly opposing camps. For some, just the mention of "theme park" conjures images of queues of screaming, motion-sick children covered in cotton candy. For others, they make for an easy, boozy, carefree day out with a few friends. Regardless of which camp you fall in, the burning question remains: which city has the best amusement parks in China? 

Eight years ago, the Beijinger editors were bemoaning the opening of the new World Joyland video game theme park in Changzhou, close to Shanghai. Despite being a seriously dodgy, bootleg, intellectual-property-violating wonderland, the project was valued at over RMB 20 million and was set to span over 600,000sqm, outstripping Beijing's largest amusement park Happy Valley by some 40,000sqm.

Eventually, we got over our jealousy, and that was a good thing too because numerous projects have sprung up in the mainland since 2011, most of them in the south. In fact, as of June 2018, there were 65 theme parks in various stages of planning and construction. One of China's newest and biggest is the Haichang Ocean Park, opened in Shanghai in 2018. The award-winning theme park is home to more than 300 species of marine creatures as well as various shows and rides. Then there's Shanghai Disneyland, which even has its own subway line extension and attracts about 11 million visitors every year.

Looking at the other end of the spectrum, what are some of the more unique and quirky theme parks around China?

Dinosaur Town in Changzhou, Jiangsu

Every self-respecting Chinese city has a dinosaur museum but Changzhou took it a step further by introducing dinosaur-themed rides, which reportedly don't go very fast, unlike the meteor that wiped dinosaurs from the surface of the Earth millions of years ago (heeeeyooo take that, giant lizards!).

Song Dynasty Town, Hangzhou, Zhejiang

Suitable for long strolls, admiring strictly scheduled performances, and buying souvenirs by the bucketload, Song Dynasty Town is a fairytale reimagining of 10-13th century China, minus the Mongol-led slaughterfest. The performance "The Romance of the Song Dynasty" is said (by the owners of the theme park) to be one of the three best shows in the world, a claim whose inaccuracy is only matched by its audacity. The good news is that they've also installed a haunted mansion should the quaintness of Song dynasty culture bore.

Hello Kitty Park in Anji, Zhejiang

Hello Kitty Park is small and, according to comments of many of its visitors, very quiet, which sounds boring but has the benefit of shorter queues. The park was built in honor of Kitty's 40th birthday, an event which coincided with the shocking revelation that Hello Kitty is, in fact, a little girl, and not, as we'd always believed, a cat. We're still trying to figure that one out.

Chimelong Paradise, Guangzhou

It's a record breaker! Chimelong Paradise in Guangzhou is famous for its stomach-churning 10-loop rollercoaster, which according to riders (get a first-row seat right here via YouTube) provides the choice of either a bag or a designated "vomit bin" to heave your insides into once you stumble off the ride. As if that wasn't enough, the Chimelong Ocean Kingdom is also home to the largest aquarium on earth.

So, what's in store for the future? Well, our southern neighbors are, quite frankly, killing it. At least when it comes to planning. China's first Legoland is set to open in Shanghai in 2022 (there's been no further news on the potential Beijing location), and American theme park brand Six Flags has partnered with local companies to create an amusement park in Haiyan, Zhejiang province, set to open in 2020. 

Sadly, there isn't much going on here up north, but hopefully, the Tongzhou-based Universal Studios will eventually lift Beijing in the amusement park rankings (and general self-confidence) when it opens in 2021, pushed back from 2019.

It seems that for now, the only certainty we have is the 2022 Olympics, the timing of which is, thankfully, set in stone. 

READ: Kill Time Waiting for the Opening of Universal Studios at Beijing's Best Theme Parks

Images: Trip Advisor, Hello Travel, Francesca and James Timbers, Unsplash