Café Creatures of Beijing: Which One Are You?

There is no shortage of cafés in Beijing. New ones seem to be popping up constantly, and where there's a café, there are café creatures. You're sure to encounter these archetypes of Beijing's bustling and lively café culture, or perhaps you're one yourself...

1. The Laptop Nomad

There's always that one laptop nomad who has no idea what's happening around them. They came in at 9am and have been parked at the same table. They're fired up on countless Americanos, and they're typing at lightning-fast speeds. There's a parade of chargers around them, and they're living that digital nomad life. They know which cafes in Beijing have the best charging spots, and Cafe Zarah is always full of them! 

2. The Matcha Maximalist

This person's whole personality is that they love a matcha latte, they've been living in Beijing for years, and they liked matcha before it became cool or anyone even knew what it was. They get it with almond milk because, as they like to lecture others, oatmilk is just starch. They took that one matcha brewing class once, and now they think they're better than everyone else. 

3. The “I'm Just Here for the Ambience” Instagrammer

You know the most aesthetic yet inedible dessert? (Think that viral Xinhua Dictionary Mille-Feuille Cheesecake from Qieman Café that went viral a few years back.) This person orders it, takes 43 pictures, edits the reels, makes a boomerang and out the door they go. They like the frills and thrills of Beijing's unique coffee culture but that's just about it. For them, it's not about a decent cup of coffee or a delicious dessert, it's all about getting that perfect shot of the most aesthetically pleasing menu item, complete with a bustling hutong or hip Sanlitun skyline behind! 

4. The Hutong Cafe Expert

This person would never be caught dead in a big chain like Manner Coffee or Wagas; they are strictly about the quirky caés that have become synonymous with the hutongs. Vintage decor, rooftop terraces and a myriad of stray cats are their calling. They can navigate the hutong labyrinth without the need of Baidu Maps and always know about a hidden gem tucked away in the most obscure place. 

5. The First-Date Hopeful

This person is clearly all set to meet “the one.” They're overdressed and a bit too nervous for a Wednesday afternoon. They're usually sitting idling their thumbs or constantly checking their phone, trying to maintain a sane expression. You'll usually find them at that trendy new artisanal cafe that popped up in Sanlitun a week ago.

6. The Pet Parent

Beijing is full of these; they are the real OGs of cafe culture. This person has a shiba inu or corgie in tow, or perhaps a cat in a stroller, all dressed up in some kind of fancy pet couture – despite the 30 degree C heat. They've memorized which of the capital's cafés are pet-friendly and will argue with the ones that aren't. They ask if their dog can get a puppuccino, and the pet gets more attention than their own drink.

7. The Coffee Snob

This person takes the coffee seriously. Like a talented wine taster, they can tell if the roast was deeper than needed and if the coffee is actually Ethiopian, as the barista claims. They frequent places that have about 20 different coffee options, like Berry Beans, and will flinch at you if you're carrying a Luckin or Starbucks in hand.

8. The Art School Aesthetic

This person definitely goes to the China Central Academy of Fine Arts. Picture this: a beanie in July, a sketchpad in hand or a vintage camera around their neck, an oatmilk latte and a deep set of observing eyes. Meet the art school aesthetic, who is found huddled up in a 798 café after visiting some exhibitions for inspiration or sitting in a hutong café just vibing to the richness of culture and savoring the moment. 

9. The “Let's Have a Meeting” Entrepreneur

With their wireless earphones permanently in and some form of corporate jargon spewing from their mouth as they talk on Tencent Meeting, this person might be pitching an app to investors in the Netherlands that “revolutionizes noodle delivery” right from their café seat. They're a go-getter, and nothing will stop them. An unloved coffee cup sits steaming on the table beside them as they venture forth in pursuit of sharing their insider knowledge about China with the world. 

Are you one of these or a mix of a few? Or maybe you're a completely different type that we have yet to observe. Let us know in the comments!

READ: Beat the Heat With These Pools, Water Parks & Pool Parties in Beijing

Images: Uni You, Joey Knotts, Canva, FreePik