过年How?: Comic Jesse Appell on Pizza for CNY and Three-Man Motorcycling
We quiz some long-term Beijingers on how they intend to spend this year's Chinese New Year and hopefully uncover some horror stories along the way. 过年 How, y'all?
Everyone enjoys watching the cross-talk comedy on the Chinese New Year Gala. Even if your Chinese isn't up to snuff, you can still appreciate the energy between the two performers. As a professional bilingual comic and founder of the US-China Comedy Center, Jesse Appell has done performed cross-talk himself, so it's a good bet he knows a thing or two about a proper new year celebration.
What's your full name and where are you from?
Jesse Alexander Appell, from Newton (outside of Boston), MA, USA.
What’s your Chinese zodiac (from the year you were born)? Do you think you’re typical of that sign? Why or why not?
Horse. I’m not sure about what horses are supposed to be like, but I think it makes sense because I like to run fast and sometimes don’t know what’s directly in front of me.
What does your average CNY entail? Where are you headed this year? At a guess, how will it differ to last year?
Usually over Chinese New Year I head back to the US and do comedy shows at colleges about xiangsheng (crosstalk) and Chinese culture. This year, I was so busy towards the close of the year I’m just going home for vacation and not doing any shows. Relax, see family and friends, and plan for the Year of the Rat.
Tell us about a particular CNY nightmare that you've encountered.
The closest I have to an CNY nightmare was when I visited my friend in rural Shanxi for CNY and wound up getting lost on the way there, abandoned with my stuff on the side of the highway at midnight. Eventually, I managed to find my friend who said he would “pick me up,” which he did, but not in a car, it was on a motorcycle with both him and his friend riding. We three-person motorcycled over small roads all the way back to his village.
Which dishes do you particularly look forward to gorging on every year? Drinks?
Since I usually go back to Boston, I eat lots of Italian food and pizza. But I do like to go to Boston Chinatown and have a dim sum brunch at least once while back.
What are three tips for avoiding the excesses of eating and drinking that a proper CNY is defined by?
Tips for excess: one, own it. It’s time to relax and enlarge outwards. There will be other times to shrink your body later. Two, take one more. You know you want to. So take it. Three, the rule about waiting until the evening to drink alcohol no longer applies. Any time is a good time for baijiu, or beer, or whatever floats your boat. (Note: I misread the question and thought it was about embracing the eating rather than avoiding. Still, I stand by my answers. Own it.)
Got any tips on how to deflect those awkward family questions?
I feel for awkward family questions, it’s always best to steer the conversation back to reminders that at least nobody has coronavirus or got hit by a truck. That adds perspective on why maybe the fact you don’t have a girlfriend isn’t so big of a deal.
Is there anyone this year that’s particularly deserving of a big fat hongbao from yourself?
My employees at the US-China Comedy Center. We worked super hard this year and still needed to wind up closing our courtyard. It was sad, challenging, and even at the end involved physical labor to move our stuff out. My employees could have jumped ship and instead helped plan a comedy marathon of six shows in one day to send us out with a bang. Qiu Ling, Yu Pan, thanks!
If there’s one thing you could change about CNY, what would it be?
If I could change one thing, it would be for America to also take two weeks off, so my family could maybe come visit me in Beijing sometime too!
What do you predict the Year of the Rat holds for you?
I hope the year of the rat holds health, happiness, laughter, and an inexplicable but long-desired increase in the water pressure in my shower.
READ: Awkward Family Q's? Take Chef Simone Thompson's Advice and Stay in the Kitchen
Image: Uni You
