The MySpace page of electro-pop vixens High on Heels declares, “This isn’t even a band. This is a Collective.” It also explains the various tenets of the group’s “ethos.” It does everything but tell you their names, which I find downright rude. So I asked them their names. They still wouldn’t tell me. But they did tell me about high heel-equipped violence, girl groups and the rigorous process I’ll need to go through to become a member.

What’s the difference between a band and a collective?
A collective is a group that changes, so we have different artists perform depending on the events.

Have you got a problem with girl groups?
We definitely don’t have a problem with girl groups, although a lot of them tend to be manufactured these days. Destiny’s Child was an example of a great girl group, with the original members being together since the age of nine and Beyonce’s father developing the act for years before they had the chance to record with Columbia.

Your identities seem to be more or less top-secret. Are you publicity-shy?
I wouldn’t say we’re publicity-shy, but as artists it’s good to keep your private life separate. Having an artist name is a good thing. Also, it’s always great to keep some mystique, don’t you think?

You started out with two members – now you seem to have at least five. Can I join?
Haha, it’s grown over the last two years, as we’ve found amazing artists that bring something unique. If you’re interested in joining us, just send us your details and some music you’ve done. Then we’d audition you. We’re always looking for talented people to join!

You’re already named after shoes. Describe your sound using only clothing-related vocabulary.
Ooh … an exclusive tailored collection with sparkle, glitter and flow.

Who’s got the highest heels in the group?
That’s something we haven’t thought of, but I’d probably say either Kelly Marie or Kelly Leigh – I think we’re the shortest.

Who would you like to stamp on with those heels?
No stamping! We focus on us being better, not stamping on others. Mosquitoes are a different conversation altogether, though.

Finally, if High on Heels took on Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Shakira in a fight, who would win?
As ladies in heels, I can’t see that happening – that wouldn’t be classy. A couple of us don’t like Lady Gaga, so I think we’d possibly take her on. Five-on-one, we would stand a good chance.

High on Heels stamp on ROOMbeijing from 10pm on Aug 13. Free.