News You Might Have Missed: Occupation and Laughter on the Internet and Not-so-Naked Running

Chinese netizens took a tongue-in-cheek response to Obama and, needless to say, the outpouring of Chinese-language comments have confused Americans, some a bit more than others. Back in China, politicians are getting a more critical online response. Meanwhile, we're trying to come up with a use for China Telecom's new hard-of-hearing service and are feeling pretty good about our own record-breaking attempts. (We at least follow the rules.)

As you may have heard, Obama’s Google Plus account overflowed with Chinese comments after the site’s page was temporarily unblocked at the end of February. Chinese netizens took to "occupying" the page from the comfort of their sofas with a supply of snacks. You may not have heard that the resulting flood of Chinese characters were a source of great confusion for a number of Americans, whose responses ranged from skepticism to ignorance.

Our favorite English responses include:

  • “The Chinese word for “sofa” must be really similar to some other Chinese word that the translator is not understanding. There’s no way this many people are talking about sofas” [Nope, the translation is correct. –Ed.]
  • “If they can’t speak English, they most likely aren’t even legal and shouldn’t be voting anyways! Who paid for this? It better not have come from any tax payers!”
  • “Um, I really hope this is supposed to be a joke comment. These are Chinese citizens who are actually in China, not “illegals”. If this is a joke profile, then you’ve done very well. If this is sincere, then you are a moron.”

If you thought the National People’s Congress (NPC) and Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC) was a somber affair, think again. A photo (and dizzying animated image) of a jubilant member has been making the rounds online after photographers caught him flouncing across Tiananmen. As for the rest of the delegates, they must have confused somber with slumber based on the countless images of snoozing representatives. Which only makes it all that much easier to pick out who's the teacher's pet.

Have you always believed that your hearing is pretty good but just wanted to make it official? If you have access to a China Telecom landline, you can now call 1683 5333 (for RMB 5) to determine if you need a hearing aid. Since we figure everyone here already knows whether they can hear or not, we're looking to put this service to use in different ways. For example, you can use it periodically to determine when it's time to clean the wax buildup in your ears. Or, because the test involves identifying numbers spoken against the background of lots of white noise, you can practice this skill so that you'll never again write down the wrong number when a girl gives you her number in a noisy club. And girls, you can use this hotline as a decoy number for guys that won't leave you alone in the bar.

Finally, it looks like the Beijinger isn’t the only act in town attempting to break a world record. A recent underwear run took place at Beijing’s Olympic Park. The participants, who wore nothing but (an extremely loose definition of) underwear, were aiming to break the Guinness World Record set in Salt Lake City last year (it’s 2,270). With only just over 100 runners – not counting the clothing disqualifications – Beijing has a ways to go. And some underwear to buy.

Photos: chinasmack, haonanren.cc,blog.sina.com.cn