Funny You Should Ask: Beijing Improv Comedy Festival

Wander into Hot Cat Club on a Wednesday night and your long-repressed dreams of becoming a comedian might just come true. At the very least, you’ll be treated to a rib-tickling game of cowboys and Indians as Beijing Improv hones their craft during their weekly workshop. The bilingual troupe has been entertaining packed theaters in the capital since 2007. This month, they host their 4th Annual Beijing Improv Comedy Festival, bringing together local troupes and professional comedians from abroad.

The Local Scene
Beijing’s improv scene includes the All-Nü troupe (for women only) and ImproPekin (for
Francophones). Improv First, established to help train Chinese actors in Western comedy styles, has gained a high profile locally. They have even been asked to train local television hosts how to be funny.

Going GlobalShanghai, Xiamen and Hong Kong will all be dispatching their local improv teams to Beijing. The Pirates of Tokyo Bay, a Japanese troupe known for their rapid-fire wit, are expected as well. Other overseas comedy boats will be sailing in from as far away as Brisbane and Istanbul. Will they bring more than just jokes about air pollution and traffic conditions on the Third Ring Road? Fingers crossed.

Just for Laughs?
Over nine days, the festival will showcase skits, standup, improvised musicals and long-form pieces. Profits from the festival will go to Hua Dan, an NGO that uses out-of-the-box theater techniques to help migrant workers develop soft skills for the workplace. It’s all for a good cause, so even if you don’t like to laugh, you’re not Scrooge. Give these brave performers a chance.

To prove how hilarious they are, Beijing’s comedy community took a poke at TheBeijinger.com’s
listings and classified ads. Enjoy the jokes below:

English Teacher Looking for Meaningful Student
I’ve been teaching English here for five years and am now looking to actually help a student learn English instead of coming on to them creepily. Contact Steve on 09238049328 if you’re down for some hot participle action.

Taxi available. No, actually I'm going the other direction.

Native English Speaker needed from the following countries: Nigeria, British Guiana, Liberia, Ireland

Join the Procrastination Society. No time-wasters please.

Pollution Getting you Down?
Build up your resistance with the “RingRoadRunners!” Every time the pollution index hits 300 or more, join RiRoRun at 7:30am at Dongzhimen NW corner to get jogging and build up the strength of our favorite organs. #mylungs

Fat Fat Friend, We Have Your Clothes!
Can't wear Chinese clothes? No problem! We have fat foreign person clothes you can't buy at Beijing Zoo! XXXXL!

Personals
Thirty-five-year-old successful woman searching for a Chinese Rastafarian. Must own at least three woven ponchos. Dreadlocks a plus, but no armpit hair. Trustafarians need not respond.

Never get a seat on the bus? Get pushed around in the elevator?
Fake pregnancy belly for hire! Strap it on and see the results immediately!
- Get seats on the bus
- Let others give you the first taxi
- Never get pushed around in the subway
- Eat as much as you want without the fear of criticism
. Models for men and women available.

Ayi Available: No cooking, dusting, washing, ironing, plant watering, dish washing or bed making but will do everything else.

Desperately Seeking “Tall Handsome Guy”
We met at Nanjie Bar last Friday at 2am. We talked about the BJ music scene and you asked for my phone to put in your number. You left suddenly and took my phone - and my heart. Meet me back at Nanjie on Friday (and please bring my phone?)

Desperately Seeking “Xiao Wang”
We met at Tuanjiehu park last Saturday morning. You were doing Taiji and wearing a “I heart Dashan” t-shirt and I was practicing Kungfu. We shared a jianbing and talked about how most other douchebag foreigners hang out with other foreigners. When you put away your hand carved chopsticks I knew we were meant for each other. Meet me on the west bridge at The Summer Palace, Sunday at sunset.

Lost:
My self respect. At The Den. Last Friday night sometime between 3am-6am.

Seeking Single Man So I Can Make Him Feel Even More Single
Posted March 3, 2013 by AwesomeGirlWithBF Looking for a nice, single guy who's maybe a little awkward around women, but is actually quite attractive and a really great person. I'm gonna make him fall in love with me but never, ever hook up with him because I'm in a long-distance relationship with a dude who sucks. That's just what I'm into. Message me! Xoxo

Can't Get a Guy?
Not cute like the Asian ladies? Cute training! Every Saturday learn to attract men by being needy and saying “taoyan, taoyan, taoyan” in just the right way!

Missing: A White Guy
Have you guys seen my white guy? Msg me if so. His details:
-Between age 22 and 28, 140 and 185 lbs, 5'7" and 6'2"
-Currently between seasons three and four of THE WIRE
-Is a teacher or student; last seen in Wudaokou, Sanlitun, or Boston, MA
-Answers to "bro", "dude", "man", or "Matt"
-Is white

The 4th Annual Beijing Improv Comedy Festival takes place Apr 8-21 at Penghao Theater.

A version of this article originally appeared on page 43 in the April 2013 issue of the Beijinger.