Characters Wanted: Enter Our Short Story Contest

We've said it before and we will continue to say it: Beijing is a town of writers. OK, maybe it's a town of wannabe writers (save your comments about the wannabes that comprise our editorial team for later), but we're happy to give you the opportunity to get your stuff out there. In the spirit of last year's Beijing In Six Words contest, we are back with a new short story contest, which we're running in collaboration with The Bookworm Literary Festival (March 8-22).

Beijing Stories is what we are calling it. (Well, actually its hashtag is #BJS for you Twitter and weibo entrants.) We've been inspired by a number of things: the Very Short Stories panelists at the upcoming Bookworm Literary Festival, the very idea of Flash Fiction and this very famous example from Hemingway:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Feeling suitably inspired? So what else do you need to know?

  • You have 140 characters to play with. Whatever you can fit inside that maximum limit is kosher.
  • Your stories must be about Beijing. We'll leave you to work out how much Beijing that means to you but you'll need to be able to argue your case, my friend.
  • You can submit them: in the comments section of this blog post (and any subsequent Beijing Stories posts), by email, on Twitter (@thebeijinger) and on our Weibo (@the_beijinger)
  • You can enter as many times as you want but you can only win one prize.
  • The top three, as decided by ourselves and our friends at the BLF, will win prizes from the BLF
  • The closing date for entries is midnight on March 7, 2013

Good luck.

Photo: Wagar.org

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Big Bird flies over Beijing, duck!

See you on the dark side of the moon.

Eggs hit the wok and explode into yellows and whites, roadside breakfast outside the abortion clinic.

Dirty air, toothless stare, dusty street, walking feet, loud laughter, pedal faster, crash land, kickstand, up 3 flights, smile, she’s a glow, Mom made it to the show.

Weibo user @ginger_煎饺 sent us this:

In 2012 I moved into hutong, and then a rat, a dog, two squirrels, and a family of bugs moved in with me, most of them uninvited. Now that the drum tower area is going to be demolished I feel sad. It was the quietest and happiest days of my life.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

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And the last of three from Weibo user @林卓枢 (this one might be about Beijing):

10pm. 12 beds and three on the floor. 500rmb/month. Cockroach on wall. Spider in toilet bowl. Puce smudge. Empty lemon air freshener. Dinner is ready. Mi fan x5. Lay down. Look up. Think of cockroach. Hear a scream. a woman. It's dark. Time to sleep.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Second of three from Weibo user @林卓枢:

Hong kong. 10am. Coffee shop. Suits. Construction. Calming tea. Marc Jacobs. Old hands. Hair gel. Slumping shoulders. One smile. Chinese man.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

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Weibo user @林卓枢 penned three stories. None of them seem to be about Beijing, but we'll leave that open to interpretation and post them for you anyway. Number one:

11:30am. Central, Hong Kong. Top of tower. Mountains visible. IM pei eye level. Slurp water. Swivel chair. Deep breath. Door opening. Pause. "I've been expecting you." chair swivel. "get out of my office." back to hostel

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Meri Joswiak emailed us this entry:

The 104 chugged, exhaled to a steamy halt in front of me. I'll just walk. So what if I'm in heels; I'd have to cross the footbridge anyway.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

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From Twitter user @sashaastiadi:

Never whine in China. When your apartment's heater is not warm enough just sit naked and blast your hair dryer like a boss.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

From Not There's Jonathan Heeter (@Jonathan_Heeter on Twitter):

Absinthe, Korean Girlz, Broken Sandals, guitar, old Yugongyishan, Makisupa Policeman. Good times in pre Olympic Beijing.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Another one from Luhai Liang (More disclosure: He still won't be allowed to win ...)

Pulp Joke-tion: A horse walks into a bar, but before he has a chance to utter a word, the barman pulls out a shotgun and shoots him in the face.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Weibo user @LuHai_Liang (Disclosure: Luhai is currently interning at the Beijinger, so he won't be winning this contest!):

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. Then a Welshman hurriedly runs in and says stop the joke, you've forgotten me! The rest of the participants glare at him before all involved dissolve into a giant, quivering question mark.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

TheBeijinger.com user orangeleg:

A Beijing horse walks into a bar, sees the bartender is a donkey who is about to pull out a shotgun. Runs out and dials McDonkey SWAT.

http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2013/02/21/stranger-short-fiction-enter-our-story-contest#comment-605635

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

TheBeijinger.com user orangeleg:

A spaceship from the future lands in Beijing. Inside is someone who looks Chinese. But he speaks with no words and proffers only one message before he dies: "Less more need..."

http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2013/02/21/stranger-short-fiction-enter-our-story-contest#comment-605633

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

TheBeijinger.com user Helga Tiger:

I Am Jack's Black Lungs
I Am Jack's Reduced Personal Space
I Am Jack's Spit On The Ground
I Am Jack's Excited Taste Buds

http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2013/02/21/stranger-short-fiction-enter-our-story-contest#comment-605553

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

TheBeijinger.com user Helga Tiger:

I walk past Lao She’s memorial, Mei Lanfang’s house, Qi Baishi’s museum. Everyone has lived here some time or other. Nobody dies in Beijing.

http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2013/02/21/stranger-short-fiction-enter-our-story-contest#comment-605540

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

From Weibo user @richard76uk:

City full of excitement, fun, opportunities, full of cultural values, city of sin and city where west meet east.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

And the third of three from Wall Street Journal editor Carlos Tejada (@CRTejada on Twitter):

February explosions. Fireworks, and gutter oil.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Second of three from Wall Street Journal editor Carlos Tejada (@CRTejada on Twitter):

He lights fireworks, squints at flare. Haze obscures Beijing's beckoning lights. He thinks, "Whoa. Metaphor"

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

First of three from Wall Street Journal editor Carlos Tejada (@CRTejada on Twitter):

Audi A6, fender nudging my bike? Keying is inevitable, comrade, like your mistress's photos on Weibo.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Sinocism's Bill Bishop (@Niubi on Twitter) submitted this one:

11pm. haircut. no scissors. police. squatting in room w 19 other men. wife. lawyer. ex wife.

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Twitter entry from @IesGlobal:

A budding Beijinger belatedly arrives, boisterous and bedazzled, into a busily bustling Beijing; he's Bagou bound. Blimey...

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

Twitter entry from @IesGlobal:

He landed, felt stranded, but found his way, the same day. Ate baozi (not jiaozi), met a laowai, then said "bye-bye"

The Cleaver Quarterly: A new print magazine taking a playful look at Chinese food as a global phenomenon. Issue 1 out May 2014

thecleaverquarterly.com

As the old woman from Gaomiaocun sat in the spring sun looking into the baby's blue eyes, she realized that events of 50 years were both profound & an exercise in futility.

Amid the forced proximity he became a hostage to her eyes. Then another stop, another crowd piled on and he lost sight of hers.

Splintered chopsticks cracked the flesh; it hissed and bled grease and reused oil. And there it died on his plate.

In the distance it echoes and approaches, contagious noise that lights the sky, waging war against “Nian”, the beast of peace and rest.

Dirt clung to their fingernails and wouldn't wash off; still they tunneled each day without fail, through clumps of soil and crowds men.

You guys looted it, he spat. We were weak then.
No, said I, I am Serbian. Where the US bombed your embassy.
A cuckoo sang over Yuanming yuan.