1. To me the term is too vague to mean anything. If you mean "success" in general terms, like making RMB 8,000 per month, I'd say yes. If you mean "the American Dream in China", where a boy from a village in Malawi can earn a living and achieve upward social mobility in Beijing through hard work in a society with plenty of opportunities and few barriers, I'd say no.
2. Inappropriately, in general
3. Yes. I mean people always regard the place where they grew up as home. That's irreplaceable. But there could definitely be another place in the world that makes you feel comfortable and home. I see many laowais regard China as their home, or second home, in this sense.
Well---that's not the answer you are looking for---I know it. Here is what you want: I agree that it's hard for expats to assimilate into the Chinese society and to understand China thoroughly. China can still be pretty exclusive and elusive. It could be harder than US, Japan, Singapore or Taiwan.
But as you live here, you know it more and more, and surely you don't need to know and approve everything to enjoy life on foreign soil.