Stop Watching Movies On Your Goddamn Laptop for Chrissakes

It blows my mind every time a fellow Beijing expat tells me that they never go to the cinema in China, instead choosing to watch films on laptop screens.

Sure, normally there aren’t that many decent options to draw foreigners into movie theaters, and for Mandarin novices, even booking a ticket can be a drag.

But increasingly, those are becoming hollow excuses. This month in particular has a feast of options open to viewers including Sully, Hacksaw Ridge, and The Great Wall.

What’s more, even if you don’t know your 电影院’s from your 电影票’s, there are now websites, in English, where you can look up movie times and book tickets.

But above all else, China not only has, by some calculations, the largest number of movie theaters in the world, they also have some of the best.

Seriously, if you haven’t already, try it some time. The IMAX screens at Wanda theaters are humungous. The seats at Lumiere in Parkview Green are sinfully plush.

So when I tell you Kubo and the Two Strings, the latest gorgeous stop-motion animation from film production company Laika is coming to Chinese cinema screens in January, for the love of God, don’t watch it on a laptop screen before then.

I mean, look at the trailer for crying out loud (with a goosebump-inducing orchestral rendition of 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps').

The film tells the story of the eponymous hero – a young Japanese boy with a magical gift sets out on a thrilling quest to discover his family's legacy.

The whole heart-tugging tale plays out over stunning backdrops with miniature figurines brought to life through old-school stop-motion techniques.

I mean, the film was nominated for 10 Annie Awards which are given out by the International Animated Film Society and recognize the best in animated entertainment, for Chrissakes.

You really want to experience that on a dinky little computer screen? Well, I’m not. I’m gonna leave that delicious looking marshmallow right where it is on the table till the time is right.

The exact date is yet to be revealed, but it will be in January. We’ll let you know when it’s announced.

Images: artofvfx.com, srcdn.com