Mob Rule: Beijing Mountain Biking Rides On
The Beijing Mobsters are a bike gang who take to the hills every week to get their two-wheel action. They call themselves mountain bikers – wait, does Beijing have mountains? They cleared that up for us.
Who cycles?
Human beings, bears, monkeys, dogs and most likely alien life-forms on some planets are cycles, just as some life-forms on Sqornshellous Zeta are mattresses.
Is it really like riding a bike?
Like sex? No, the squishy bits tend to complain when riding a bike and the less squishy bits become prune-like.
With no mountains in Beijing, can it really be mountain biking?
There are mountains, just not quite in the city center! Twenty-five to 30 kilometers is not that far to go to get to some great hills, like Badachu or Taoyukou.
Cycling clothes are pretty tight. Discuss.
Part of it is for the men’s squishy bits to be swaddled and comforted when on a saddle. And a woman’s as well. It’s the feeling that between you and the bike there is nothing but love, Lycra and the best Italian pad money can buy.
Is Katie Melua right: Are there nine million bicycles in Beijing?
Yes, but a lot are no longer in bicycle form. The unfortunate result of a low bike birth rate with a higher than desired de-biking rate as people let their bikes gather dust in some anonymous cellar whilst they are stuck in a traffic jam in their car.
As a cyclist, how do you feel about recycling?
When I leave this Earth I wish to be useful to my fellow plants. When we are on this Earth we should do the same. Cycling and recycling are the same. What goes around comes around. Waste and you will get wasted.
How much do you hate cars?
I don’t. I hate stupid drivers that drive in biking lanes, block them and think that they have the right to park in them. I also hate drivers that use their cars like weapons and drive at people.
Do you think it is time that the Penny-farthing made a comeback?
No, except as a bike for enthusiasts. Some people like to do mountain biking on a unicycle, some people went round the world on a Penny-farthing. But bikes have evolved and gotten better.
MOB’s PLAYLIST
Songs To Cycle To
“Bicycle Race” by Queen
“More” by Pink Floyd
“Mutter” by Rammstein
(Click on links to see video)
Join the Beijing Mobsters by emailing beijingmob-owner@googlegroups.com. They’re also looking for people to organize rides.
