Can someone at the Beijinger please start cracking down on all the useless introductions that precede so many of its articles? If you want to be cute, put your hair in pigtails. Don't give us three introductory paragraphs of useless information to wade through.
Have you ever seen an American football game? Then you would know that NFL quarterbacks typically are not "burly," nor do they "quickly lumber" to "tackle their opponent." (That is literally the last thing the quarterback ever does.)
Just stick to the point, Beijinger, and drop the cute. Time is money.